Kevin Samuels (RIP) and the “High Value Man” Lie

Before you read, I’m not entertaining any of the following 2 responses:

“How dare you diss a dead man’s ideas!”

“You must be one of the women he was bashing.”

First of all, we dispute with the ideas and actions of dead people all the time. The fact that he has so recently passed away does not absolve him of being chastised by those who disagree with him.

Second, my path and status are among the many examples of women who prove his “bashing” was BS all along.

So let’s dive into the lie of “high value men.”

What did he mean by the term?

He described a “high value man” as someone with a decent salary to sustain a comfortable lifestyle, with no kids outside marriage, or at the least he was financially present if he had them, and basically that was it. That was the criteria.

But for women, of course there was a double standard.

On the other hand, to be a high value woman… you have to be under 35, fit, educated, always with a pleasant demeanor, and have no kids before marriage and also, not be sexually adventurous.

Let’s break it down… his advice was utter trash that will have you both miserable and combative whether man or woman, if you truly operated according to his world view.

Here’s just a few of the problems.

Your judgments would be on superficial things instead of foundational factors.

Life includes an infinite number of paths but at the core of it all, the same traits are central to success and a peaceful, beautiful life experience.

Compassion, Determination, Resilience, and Patience are 4 Key traits proven to create more success and comfort in a lifetime. These traits are found in a variety of people, some with kids, some without, some who have over 100 past sexual partners and some with only 1 or 2, etc.

The point is when you focus on superficial things like income, education, sexual partners, and weight, you’ll fail more often than not. Because someone can have $100K income, a Master’s degree, be 5'5 and 120 pounds and only have had sex with 2 people before you and have no compassion for you or others and have no ability to face the inevitable struggles of life.

Focus on the core and not the glitter.

Second, You would see red flags where none existed.

Because you are focusing on the glitter, you’ll assume that a person is full of red flags when in fact, they have everything you need for a loving home and nurturing environment.

Just as an example, in 2014, my friend Monica, was a 32 year old mother of one. She’s 5'3 and weighs 160 pounds. She had a Bachelor’s degree* and a full time job. She’s had approximately 20 sexual partners before now.

• She now also has a Master’s degree.

In 2014, she and her husband started dating. If he had been a disciple of Kevin Samuels, he never would have dated her. The number of men she’s slept with, the fact that she has a kid already, and the impression that her curvy shape was ugly would all be deterrents.

Reality is… she like many melanated women weigh more than European counterparts who are the same size, so her 160 pounds would likely be 135 on a white woman.

She is a thoughtful partner and truly supportive of her man’s path and he is of hers. He fell in love with her because of her strength and compassion. He saw her put herself through college, build her own business and raise an amazing child. She lived what is the true high value factors in our lives.

There are millions of women just like this, being misjudged and mistreated by men who are focusing on the glitter and not the core.

You won’t face your own weaknesses and needs for growth.

This is the part Kevin and most of his followers truly hate: you got your own ish to fix, stop criticizing others and do your own work.

One anonymous example is a man who considers himself “high value” but felt personally offended because a female coworker declined his offer to pay for her lunch. “What was that all about?” he asked me.

“She did what a lot of people do and chose to not impose upon your kindness.”

“You don’t think she assumed I was trying to hit on her?”

“I doubt it. Have you ever tried to ask her out before?”

“No.”

“Ok so chances are it’s not a big deal. I’ve done this and I’ve had people declien my offers to pay their bill as well. This happens all the time. There’s no hidden agenda here.”

What was his issue?

He’s got a highly sensitive alarm system. It’s like an oversensitive smoke alarm that sounds off if too much steam from your shower gets into the hallway.

It’s not even smoke fam!

so it’s damn sure not a fire.

Many of Kevin’s followers have similar habits. They inflate and add paranoia to many situations and walk around like nervous puffer fish and blow up when it’s not really warranted.

Fix your ish and pay attention to the core, not the glitter.

I’ll be back with more commentary on this topic later, but for now I’ll end with condolences to his family and a hope that in the afterlife Kevin finds peace.